Editor’s Note: This is a coming-of-age ceremony on November 11, 2022, when Yerzi gave her son, Xiong Zhongyu, a coming-of-age blessing at the fifth coming-of-age ceremony of Curionesty College. Yerzi is a senior media personality, educational innovation practitioner and researcher, founder of “Nidunsha Kindergarten” and “Teenage Life Rehabilitation”.
Greetings Dear Seven Pounds: Today is your 17th coming-of-age ceremony. In fact, on my mom’s birthday on May 26th this year, I already felt that you have really grown up and come-of-age ceremony. On that day we played a game with my aunt and uncle, Auntie Xiao Hui and Auntie Li Han: Before you die, if you have a 12-year-old child, what would you leave your child with the most precious dying words? What you said that day is still fresh in my mind: 1. Improve your cognitive level and view the world holistically. Your perception of the world shapes you and determines what kind of person you will become and what kind of character you will have in the future.2. There should be love, great love. You should have compassion for the world.3. Have pursuit, try your best to pursue what you like, there is not much meaning in a peaceful life, have a big and ultimate dream. I almost shed a tear when I heard your words the other day. I was relieved to see that you had begun to think about the value and meaning of life, and that you were trying to connect yourself with others and the world, and I was happy to see that you had already stepped into “the way of the way”. From the time you left traditional school in 6th grade to now, you have transformed from a naive boy to an independent thinking young man in 7 years. I am deeply grateful to Curionesty College for all the companionship and support it has given you, and I have witnessed how a good Curionesty College can help a child become accepting of himself, loving others deeply, and loving this imperfect world.
Once upon a time, in a traditional learning community, you said that your classmates were all rivals, you didn’t have a single friend, and you were bullied by your classmates. But in Curious, the bottle told me: you are kind, gentle, and also the classmates’ paragraph player and happy fruit, you are one of the most popular students in Curious, and your classmates love you very much. And you also told me that you love every single one of your classmates in Curiosity, and you don’t even want to go home on weekends, you want to be with your classmates. I am so surprised and touched by this change, honestly, this is 100 times more important than you have learned a lot of knowledge. Once upon a time, I was a mother who spoiled her child, a mother who held you in her hand for fear of dropping and in her mouth for fear of melting. You were in fourth grade and couldn’t tie your shoes. I peeled your eggs and put them in your hand in the morning. I gave birth to you at the ripe old age of 37, all of which I understood, but I couldn’t control my flood of love for you. But in Curious, you not only learned to take care of yourself and have a sense of responsibility, but you also cared about the new students, talked to them, and used your own experience to encourage the new students to cherish their time, study hard, and not waste their time on video games. When I think of when I first went to Curious, your work schedule was to play video games all night and sleep all day during the day, and now you are beginning to persuade the new students, which is really marvelous. Once upon a time, you looked up to your mom, thinking that she knew everything and was your support. But now you’re starting to dislike your mom, saying that she doesn’t read novels, doesn’t know history, and that any two of your curious classmates have read more books than I have. The traditional learning community is about grades and scores, but your learning community is all about who has read more books. Last year, you even finally got runner-up in the reading league. You started to worship your president, Ji Xiao, and for a while, Ji Xiao’s big avatar was actually your cell phone’s screen saver, which honestly made me a little jealous. One weekend you came home and excitedly told me that Ji Xiao was so awesome that he had invited Chen Danqing to come to the learning community to talk to his classmates. Your eyes sparkled with the light of enlightened minds and throbbing youth. I was pleasantly surprised to see Mr. Tan Pek Niu again at the coming-of-age ceremony today. In wonder, you grew up with your classmates, and your friendship often touched me. I remember one time you were at Wu Han’s house until 3 o’clock in the middle of the night in order to make a video for Jing Yi. In that video, in addition to love and friendship, I saw your cooperation, creativity, and spark of ideas.
In fact, I’ve always had a wish, and I’ve told you that I’d love to invite you and your classmates to come over to our house for a feast and a sea of conversation, and I’d love to join you. Mom is a good cook, and my pickled pepper triangular peaks are still a little bit famous in Chengdu’s innovative education circle. But I was still rejected by you, and I’m not angry at all because you’ve grown up and I respect your choice. Anyway, you are free, especially from today’s coming-of-age ceremony, you have to try to be an independent person, try to face all kinds of situations in life: good and bad, full of vitality and full of despair, all are your own life. Of course, with the knowledge, experience and personality foundation you have now, you may still be far from being able to cope with the complexity and difficulty of life. Next year, when you graduate from Curious, your secondary school career will come to an end, but this must not be the end of your life learning, but should be another beginning. If you are not a lifelong learner, you will easily be eliminated from society. I also have some advice for you as you are about to enter society.1. “The more I love mankind, the less I love specific people.” This is a quote from Dostoevsky, and you need to be vigilant not to become such a person. Sometimes you have to come home and tell me about some of the thoughts and discussions you and your classmates have had: for example, how to fight for civil liberties under the new crown? What can you do as an ordinary person in the Tangshan beating incident? You and your classmates are busy thinking about the things of all mankind and the fate of Chinese people, which shows me your ability to think independently. At your age, when most test-taking children still only know how to care about grades and scores, you are thinking much deeper, and I am very pleased with that. But I want to remind you of this: to love abstract human beings costs nothing but thinking and writing. Whereas to love a concrete human being, it takes time and energy. For example, if your mother-in-law at home is sick and bedridden for a long time, do you want to talk and chat with her often? You are already 17 years old, nanny Auntie Pang still have to do your laundry, can you do it yourself? Can you clean up the garbage from instant noodles every time you eat them? Do some small things around you that seem to be very small, starting from loving your loved ones and friends around you, to practice your ideals about love, which is more important and more real than ambitious goals, you have to remember that the road to the faraway land never starts from every step of your feet.
Find the strength to grow in the reality of the situation, and don’t egg it on. You are now in the prime of life, in the family of curiosity, you are free to speak, longing for the good. However, once you enter the society, it is possible that you will find some dark side of reality, which may impact on your values, and even think that life is not worth it, and you will despair because you are powerless to change. How in the world should you stick to your ideals? The law of doing things in this world is divided into inner game and outer game. The outer game is this time and environment we are in, which is beyond our control. If we focus on the outer difficulties, then very soon, nothing is possible for us anymore. But the inner game is to stimulate one’s own potential, this is the challenge that can be reached, this is the destiny that is in one’s own hands. So the core of a person’s self-growth is to reduce the interference of the external game, accept what we can not change, but at the same time do not forget the sky above us, as well as a person’s conscience, in the unsatisfactory reality of the environment to try to find a way to live with themselves, a kind of growth force, to bring their own potential to play to create the greatest possibilities in life. 3, to keep the good habit of reading to old age. Find a life-long love of interest. Two weeks ago, Mr. Bottle told me that seven pounds had built up the habit of reading. I was so happy to hear that. A year ago, you also told me that Chi Xiao told you that the distance between you and Cheng Xinyu (an excellent sister in Curionesty College) is the distance of 300 books. Now, I also find that you spend less and less time playing games and more and more time reading books. A child who loves to read books, I believe it’s hard for him to become bad again, and he can’t change even if he wants to. Because in the book, you have appreciated the wisdom of mankind, the fruit of social civilization, you have opened your eyes, and gained the pleasure of climbing in the spirit. When you have reached the top of the mountain, I believe that you are no longer willing to descend to the bottom of the valley. So, please keep the good habit of reading until old age.
Also, I hope you don’t stop exploring yourself, and make sure you find an interest that you will love for the rest of your life. As far as my own feelings are concerned, if a person’s work can be aligned with his interest, this will enter the highest level of life. At this point, I know you are still confused, not knowing what you are really good at? Not sure if you are going to college next year or still going to work? In this world, some people are a bit lucky and find their destiny very early; some people seem to be wasting their time and have never found what they really love and pursue. And then there are those who spend their whole life and may not even find themselves. But no matter what, you can’t give up the journey of finding yourself. You search hard and there will always be a door that opens for you. You have to understand that the self is like the trunk of a big tree; only when the trunk grows will the branches, flowers and fruits grow.
Reaching goals starts with the smallest feasible action. Seven pounds, I know you and your classmates are all loving, courageous, and pursuing children, which is also the slogan of Curionesty College, but sometimes I am a little worried that your goals are too ambitious, and it’s too complicated to start actions, and as a result, you may not be able to hold on to them for a long time before you give up. In other cases, you want to be sure of everything before you dare to take action, and you end up suffering from too much pursuit of perfection, which leads to a long time of inaction. For example, two years ago you opened a public number, but you think you can’t write to your satisfaction, so you simply give up updating. You have to understand: the process is more important than the result, and completion is more important than perfection, so the best way to reach your writing goal is to start from the minimum feasible action, which can be started from writing 100 words a day, or even from posting a circle of friends every day. There is never a tomorrow if you don’t start. If you start with a very small action, the sky is the limit and the water drips over the stone. Big strengths come together from small persistence. Lastly, I want to send you a poem, and unfortunately, even though my mom loves to write poems, I posted this one because I saw it on the internet and I thought it suited your personality:
Let yourself be like a river
Neither resist nor panic
Love life in all its fullness
Love every sunrise
Love every late night
Good night, darling.
November 11, 2022 at 25:00 a.m. Love, Mom.
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