Chi Xiao: Being an adult with light in the eyes

Editor’s Notes:

This is the November 11, 2022 message from Ms. Ikkyo at the Curionesty College 5th coming-of-age ceremony.

Welcome to Curionesty College’s fifth coming-of-age ceremony.

Each year on November 11th, we will sink our teeth into something serious while others go on a shopping spree. It will be a time to get together and give our 17 year old students the blessing of growing up to be adults when others are proud to be bachelors.

1

Just in case you don’t know, I repeat every year another important reason why we chose this date.November 11th is the final day of World War I. It is the first day of World War II. Our first coming-of-age ceremony, 2018, coincides with the 100th anniversary of the end of WWI. We want to look forward on this day to the disappearance of war and the replacement of it with a mitzvah. Confucius said that rites are lost and sought in the wild. This means that a certain “rite” that has been generally lost in mainstream society should be sought out in the people.

And this rite, as I understand it, is summed up in one word: civilization.

The coming-of-age ceremony is one of the most serious programs at Curionesty College, and we expect everyone to take it seriously and prepare for it. Because it’s the civilized thing to do, and war is never the opposite of civilization. It always breaches the boundaries of dignity.

Franklin said that there is no just war in the world and no unjust peace. War is full of uncertainty and harm, while peace guarantees certainty and growth. Don’t underestimate the power of cumulative growth. You have done many projects filled with uncertainty at Curious, because real life is like that. The only coming-of-age ceremony that demands extra certainty is the one that requires everyone to write carefully and read aloud in formal attire. Because writing is more certain than speaking. Because we want you, on this day, to fully identify the forces of certainty that can sustain you as you grow into adulthood, to safeguard your growth in certainty. The choice of this day for the coming-of-age ceremony, and the most serious way of approaching this day, carries deep within it one of our hopes for you, which is that you will be a defender of peace, a person who does not tolerate harm to others, and a civilized person.

2

I know the five of you must have been under a lot of pressure during this time. To prepare for something serious, you must be extra cautious. All of us are afraid of saying and doing the wrong thing. But don’t let your fear keep you from doing things, but let it help you to do better things and to do things better too. Every year today, I have to find some more differences between adults and non-adults. A true adult must be more resilient and able to regulate his or her behavior under different pressures. Many nominal adults appear to be adults, but are not. Many will crumble under pressure, many will compromise under pressure. Especially in these years of your near-adulthood, in the foreseeable future, I want you to remain resilient. Fight stress with a growth mindset.

3

A friend used to say that the process of schooling is the process of making the light go out of children’s eyes. It is because we don’t want to sit back and watch such a tragic situation that we at Curionesty College are making all sorts of attempts. I wish education could be normal, and that normal education wouldn’t dim the light in your eyes. I wish we could try to protect the light in your eyes. All five of you, I’ve basically known you since you were 12 or 13 years old or even earlier. I see the state you are in today, I see your eyes, and comparing them to your peers, I know that our efforts have made some difference, and I hope that you will stop relying solely on the protection of others during this time before graduation. Learn to protect yourselves as well, and protect the light in your eyes.

We had the privilege of having our coming-of-age ceremony at the beach today. This is different from the past. I would like to ask you to imagine if you did not have a map of the world as it exists today in your mind, would you, standing on the shore, be willing to cross the ocean? Actually, crossing the ocean is not even an accurate term anymore; if you didn’t know the opposite shore existed, it would only be called crossing the ocean. Are you willing to try? Or, with a growth mindset, under what conditions are you willing to take on the challenge to see? And how should those conditions be reached? Since ancient times, there have been many warriors who have rafted the oceans alone. What kind of people were they? They were actually ordinary people, but they had light in their eyes. Their curiosity allowed them to see the light of the unknown. They could see what existed on the other side.

At the beach, some people can only see obstacles, but those with light in their eyes can see anticipation and love. Their eyes see the sea and the sky, and they reflect the shiny sparkling waves. I want all of you to be adults with light in your eyes. One day, I hope it will light up your eyes not only with the reflection of the sun, but also with the brightness of your heart. I sincerely wish you all the best as you grow into adults! Thank you all!