Category: coming-of-age ceremony

Editor’s Note: This is a coming-of-age ceremony on November 11, 2022, when Yerzi gave her son, Xiong Zhongyu, a coming-of-age blessing at the fifth coming-of-age ceremony of Curionesty College. Yerzi is a senior media personality, educational innovation practitioner and researcher, founder of “Nidunsha Kindergarten” and “Teenage Life Rehabilitation”.

Greetings Dear Seven Pounds: Today is your 17th coming-of-age ceremony. In fact, on my mom’s birthday on May 26th this year, I already felt that you have really grown up and come-of-age ceremony. On that day we played a game with my aunt and uncle, Auntie Xiao Hui and Auntie Li Han: Before you die, if you have a 12-year-old child, what would you leave your child with the most precious dying words? What you said that day is still fresh in my mind: 1. Improve your cognitive level and view the world holistically. Your perception of the world shapes you and determines what kind of person you will become and what kind of character you will have in the future.2. There should be love, great love. You should have compassion for the world.3. Have pursuit, try your best to pursue what you like, there is not much meaning in a peaceful life, have a big and ultimate dream. I almost shed a tear when I heard your words the other day. I was relieved to see that you had begun to think about the value and meaning of life, and that you were trying to connect yourself with others and the world, and I was happy to see that you had already stepped into “the way of the way”. From the time you left traditional school in 6th grade to now, you have transformed from a naive boy to an independent thinking young man in 7 years. I am deeply grateful to Curionesty College for all the companionship and support it has given you, and I have witnessed how a good Curionesty College can help a child become accepting of himself, loving others deeply, and loving this imperfect world.

Once upon a time, in a traditional learning community, you said that your classmates were all rivals, you didn’t have a single friend, and you were bullied by your classmates. But in Curious, the bottle told me: you are kind, gentle, and also the classmates’ paragraph player and happy fruit, you are one of the most popular students in Curious, and your classmates love you very much. And you also told me that you love every single one of your classmates in Curiosity, and you don’t even want to go home on weekends, you want to be with your classmates. I am so surprised and touched by this change, honestly, this is 100 times more important than you have learned a lot of knowledge. Once upon a time, I was a mother who spoiled her child, a mother who held you in her hand for fear of dropping and in her mouth for fear of melting. You were in fourth grade and couldn’t tie your shoes. I peeled your eggs and put them in your hand in the morning. I gave birth to you at the ripe old age of 37, all of which I understood, but I couldn’t control my flood of love for you. But in Curious, you not only learned to take care of yourself and have a sense of responsibility, but you also cared about the new students, talked to them, and used your own experience to encourage the new students to cherish their time, study hard, and not waste their time on video games. When I think of when I first went to Curious, your work schedule was to play video games all night and sleep all day during the day, and now you are beginning to persuade the new students, which is really marvelous. Once upon a time, you looked up to your mom, thinking that she knew everything and was your support. But now you’re starting to dislike your mom, saying that she doesn’t read novels, doesn’t know history, and that any two of your curious classmates have read more books than I have. The traditional learning community is about grades and scores, but your learning community is all about who has read more books. Last year, you even finally got runner-up in the reading league. You started to worship your president, Ji Xiao, and for a while, Ji Xiao’s big avatar was actually your cell phone’s screen saver, which honestly made me a little jealous. One weekend you came home and excitedly told me that Ji Xiao was so awesome that he had invited Chen Danqing to come to the learning community to talk to his classmates. Your eyes sparkled with the light of enlightened minds and throbbing youth. I was pleasantly surprised to see Mr. Tan Pek Niu again at the coming-of-age ceremony today. In wonder, you grew up with your classmates, and your friendship often touched me. I remember one time you were at Wu Han’s house until 3 o’clock in the middle of the night in order to make a video for Jing Yi. In that video, in addition to love and friendship, I saw your cooperation, creativity, and spark of ideas.

In fact, I’ve always had a wish, and I’ve told you that I’d love to invite you and your classmates to come over to our house for a feast and a sea of conversation, and I’d love to join you. Mom is a good cook, and my pickled pepper triangular peaks are still a little bit famous in Chengdu’s innovative education circle. But I was still rejected by you, and I’m not angry at all because you’ve grown up and I respect your choice. Anyway, you are free, especially from today’s coming-of-age ceremony, you have to try to be an independent person, try to face all kinds of situations in life: good and bad, full of vitality and full of despair, all are your own life. Of course, with the knowledge, experience and personality foundation you have now, you may still be far from being able to cope with the complexity and difficulty of life. Next year, when you graduate from Curious, your secondary school career will come to an end, but this must not be the end of your life learning, but should be another beginning. If you are not a lifelong learner, you will easily be eliminated from society. I also have some advice for you as you are about to enter society.1. “The more I love mankind, the less I love specific people.” This is a quote from Dostoevsky, and you need to be vigilant not to become such a person. Sometimes you have to come home and tell me about some of the thoughts and discussions you and your classmates have had: for example, how to fight for civil liberties under the new crown? What can you do as an ordinary person in the Tangshan beating incident? You and your classmates are busy thinking about the things of all mankind and the fate of Chinese people, which shows me your ability to think independently. At your age, when most test-taking children still only know how to care about grades and scores, you are thinking much deeper, and I am very pleased with that. But I want to remind you of this: to love abstract human beings costs nothing but thinking and writing. Whereas to love a concrete human being, it takes time and energy. For example, if your mother-in-law at home is sick and bedridden for a long time, do you want to talk and chat with her often? You are already 17 years old, nanny Auntie Pang still have to do your laundry, can you do it yourself? Can you clean up the garbage from instant noodles every time you eat them? Do some small things around you that seem to be very small, starting from loving your loved ones and friends around you, to practice your ideals about love, which is more important and more real than ambitious goals, you have to remember that the road to the faraway land never starts from every step of your feet.

Find the strength to grow in the reality of the situation, and don’t egg it on. You are now in the prime of life, in the family of curiosity, you are free to speak, longing for the good. However, once you enter the society, it is possible that you will find some dark side of reality, which may impact on your values, and even think that life is not worth it, and you will despair because you are powerless to change. How in the world should you stick to your ideals? The law of doing things in this world is divided into inner game and outer game. The outer game is this time and environment we are in, which is beyond our control. If we focus on the outer difficulties, then very soon, nothing is possible for us anymore. But the inner game is to stimulate one’s own potential, this is the challenge that can be reached, this is the destiny that is in one’s own hands. So the core of a person’s self-growth is to reduce the interference of the external game, accept what we can not change, but at the same time do not forget the sky above us, as well as a person’s conscience, in the unsatisfactory reality of the environment to try to find a way to live with themselves, a kind of growth force, to bring their own potential to play to create the greatest possibilities in life. 3, to keep the good habit of reading to old age. Find a life-long love of interest. Two weeks ago, Mr. Bottle told me that seven pounds had built up the habit of reading. I was so happy to hear that. A year ago, you also told me that Chi Xiao told you that the distance between you and Cheng Xinyu (an excellent sister in Curionesty College) is the distance of 300 books. Now, I also find that you spend less and less time playing games and more and more time reading books. A child who loves to read books, I believe it’s hard for him to become bad again, and he can’t change even if he wants to. Because in the book, you have appreciated the wisdom of mankind, the fruit of social civilization, you have opened your eyes, and gained the pleasure of climbing in the spirit. When you have reached the top of the mountain, I believe that you are no longer willing to descend to the bottom of the valley. So, please keep the good habit of reading until old age.

Also, I hope you don’t stop exploring yourself, and make sure you find an interest that you will love for the rest of your life. As far as my own feelings are concerned, if a person’s work can be aligned with his interest, this will enter the highest level of life. At this point, I know you are still confused, not knowing what you are really good at? Not sure if you are going to college next year or still going to work? In this world, some people are a bit lucky and find their destiny very early; some people seem to be wasting their time and have never found what they really love and pursue. And then there are those who spend their whole life and may not even find themselves. But no matter what, you can’t give up the journey of finding yourself. You search hard and there will always be a door that opens for you. You have to understand that the self is like the trunk of a big tree; only when the trunk grows will the branches, flowers and fruits grow.

Reaching goals starts with the smallest feasible action. Seven pounds, I know you and your classmates are all loving, courageous, and pursuing children, which is also the slogan of Curionesty College, but sometimes I am a little worried that your goals are too ambitious, and it’s too complicated to start actions, and as a result, you may not be able to hold on to them for a long time before you give up. In other cases, you want to be sure of everything before you dare to take action, and you end up suffering from too much pursuit of perfection, which leads to a long time of inaction. For example, two years ago you opened a public number, but you think you can’t write to your satisfaction, so you simply give up updating. You have to understand: the process is more important than the result, and completion is more important than perfection, so the best way to reach your writing goal is to start from the minimum feasible action, which can be started from writing 100 words a day, or even from posting a circle of friends every day. There is never a tomorrow if you don’t start. If you start with a very small action, the sky is the limit and the water drips over the stone. Big strengths come together from small persistence. Lastly, I want to send you a poem, and unfortunately, even though my mom loves to write poems, I posted this one because I saw it on the internet and I thought it suited your personality:

Let yourself be like a river
Neither resist nor panic
Love life in all its fullness
Love every sunrise
Love every late night
Good night, darling.

November 11, 2022 at 25:00 a.m. Love, Mom.

Editor’s Note: This is the speech given by Mr. Tan Perniu at the fifth coming-of-age ceremony of Curionesty College on November 11, 2022, and this speech has been compiled and revised based on the live video. Tan Bo Niu: a scholar of late Qing history, especially dedicated to the history of the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom, the history of the Hunan army, and the biography of Zeng Guofan. He is the author of “Battle of Tianjing: A Record of Military and Political Correspondence in the Late Qing Dynasty”, “The Remnants of the World: A History of the Late Qing Dynasty Taken out of Context”, “The Rise of the Hunan Army: A History of the Struggle of Hunan People in the Modern World”, “The Shengshi is Prisoned by Writings”, “The Brightness and Depth of Modern History”, “After all, Who is the First to Achieve Great Results in Battle? Recorded TV lecture “Legend of Hunan Army”. Academic advisor for the documentary film “Record of Xiang Army’s Eastward Expedition” and “Zeng Guofan, a Close Friend”. Reviewer of “Autumn of Heaven”.

I see that some of the five students have met before. First of all, I would like to congratulate them on their first coming-of-age ceremony, and I think they should have a script, but what I am going to say today is not quite the same as the script because coming-of-age is a very real thing, and I would liketo say a few words that are true to life. In my opinion, the word “adult” has two meanings, one is a person and the other is time, and the word “adult” is time, which means that to become an adult is to honor a person in time. And this time we can see that the time we live in today is our time, and we can understand and observe and analyze this time, but how this time became what it is today, we should also understand.

1

We know that all people, Chinese, foreigners, yellow people, white people, black people have a common ancestor, that is, he came from Africa, that is to say, in the beginning all people were in the same place, there was no very special development, but to this day we see that there are very big differences in the civilizations, countries, communities, and because of these differences we have wars, alliances, trade, spread of religions. and all this is both for unity and a cause of all the divisions, and this is a big development of our time.

Specifically, as Chinese, we have a history of civilization of more than 3,000 years, and the civilization older than ours is about 6,000 years of Egyptian civilization as we know it now, so we are at the back of the list of ancient civilizations, but I personally think that no matter whether it’s the 3,000 years of China’s history of civilization, the 6,000 years of Egypt’s history of civilization, the even shorter history of civilization in the Americas, or the more than 2,000 years of European civilization, they all have a common feature, especially for those who are in this era. They all share a common feature, especially visible to those who are in this era, we are much luckier than a Victorian, we are much luckier than a person in the mid to late Qing Dynasty, and this is the greatest feature of our era.

It is because we are living in the world after the Industrial Revolution, the world before and after the Industrial Revolution are two worlds, just like what Ji Xiao said just now, the world after the Industrial Revolution is a world with light, because there is electricity, human beings have discovered electricity and are able to use it, and in the era after the Industrial Revolution the dissemination of our information and the swiftness of our transportation are far more than that of all the people in the ancient times, and this is the most fortunate thing about the modern people, and this is of course also the This is one of the reasons why modern people are far more anxious than ancient people, whether about physical and mental illnesses or internal and external anxieties.

We modern people can’t find the kind of emotion that the ancient people had, because sincere emotion requires a long period of isolation, a long distance separation, before you can experience it alone with your heart, and emotion is the source of all rationality and sensibility in human beings, and the brewing of emotion is the most important, and it’s also the source of knowledge, but we modern people, because of the industrial revolution, we’ve lost all of that forever.

So I think that the 3,000 years of Chinese history before the Industrial Revolution, and even the 6,000 years of Chinese and Western history, it’s a long cycle, whether it’s the Egyptian elders, or the European monarchs, or the Chinese emperors, essentially they practiced the same kind of system, that is, the system of one family ruling over a large group of people, and all of the ancient civilization and culture is overwhelmingly about how to maintain that rule and how to All ancient civilizations and cultures were largely about how to maintain this rule, and the knowledge that came out of it, and the ancient laws, and the moral requirements were all about this central point, and it was only in this process that the people were able to go and enjoy a little bit of their own happiness as human beings – that’s what I mean by saying that the ancient history was by its very nature a very dark place, and that if we want to look for light in the ancient world, of course there is light, and we can’t say that it’s not there, but it’s not there. If we were to look for light in the ancient world, of course it was there, not to say it wasn’t there, but it took a very good pair of eyes, but the industrial revolution changed all that. Because the industrial revolution allowed a lot of people to receive the same knowledge, the isolation of information became a very difficult thing to do, and because the development of trade also made it very difficult for an isolated monarchy to emerge, then everything needed to change, and these changes have not been accomplished up to now, which means that the coming-of-age ceremony of the new mankind, of the new history, has not come into being, and it would be better for the coming-of-age ceremonies of you five to be able to set a timely Set the date.

We are all in the midst of history, and this is what we are in such a new era, so-called new era that we often talk about, we are going to usher in a big era, this is the big era that we are in, that we are going to meet, and this is a more fortunate moment than many, and of course the big era generally, often, and all the time, means wars, pestilences, tyrannies, and outbursts of culture and art, and a lot of individuals, a lot of specific people inside the big era can ascend to the top, this is not determined what kind of people, can be on the top of that wave, but there are also many people, who, for unknown reasons, will be buried in the middle of the wave.

We, as human beings, we commemorate our birth, we commemorate our growth, but we also have another important thing that we understand that we are in the midst of time. We commemorate our growth and at the same time we usher in our death, which we will get closer to. We are not going to go into unlucky words, but we as rational people should understand this: the important de and not how to commemorate how you die in the future, but that you come to understand what death means to you, and what growth means to you, and that you have this kind of mindset, and that in the process you are really human beings in the midst of time to feel it all.

How do we understand growth, how do we understand people in a time like the present, coming up to huge times as well as people who are in such big times, and that’s the word that precedes what I just said about adulthood inside – time.

3

As for human beings, I have just said that in the ancient dark world there was light, at least one kind of light, and both our Eastern sages and our Western predecessors, in some aspects, they were in agreement, for example, the highest kind of enjoyment a human being can pursue in this world, the most difficult kind of knowledge he can pursue, and both of them would agree that it is beauty. The hardest and most pleasurable knowledge one can pursue is beauty. Of course this beauty may be different from the definition of beauty in general school education, and also different from the definition of beauty in various schools, because this beauty is not only artistic and aesthetic beauty, it is a state of human existence and life. And this state of beauty, I’m too late today to explain how I understand the East and West on the composition of this beauty, but I think it has a few key words, you recognize beauty, you create beauty, you need these key words:

The first is honesty. Honesty is not just so that you can get along well with people, it is not so that you can get a good name on earth for not lying, it is only if you are honest with yourself that you can gain real knowledge, what you know, what you don’t know, what you have foreseen, what you would like to forget, what you are able to forget, and what you are not able to forget, all of this makes up your honesty. But this honesty is only within you; we cannot see how a man is honest unless TA shows integrity.

The second is integrity. Integrity is when you gain knowledge with honesty, then when faced with many things, when faced with different situations, you can make your judgment, and you have the ability to make your judgment, which means that you will know what is meant by right and wrong, you will know what should be done and what should not be done, what is wrong and what is right, what has not been done but I want to do it, what has been done What I regretted doing, these are integrity. Of course when you have achieved integrity, you have only made it clear that you are a reasonable person and an insightful person, but at this time you have not yet reached the state of beauty.

The realm of beauty is the third step. In the sense that you have the knowledge that human beings need, the knowledge that you yourself need, in the sense that you know what is right and what is wrong within that knowledge, in such a way that you take that step of your own, that step of your own life, and you become a courageous person, and you go on to really do those things that you think are worthy of being done, that you ought to be doing. Only then do you become a person of beauty, a friend of beauty, and a friend of time.

With these words I hope to be able to give some blessings to five friends who look like they are already sunburned.

Editor’s Notes:

This is the November 11, 2022 message from Ms. Ikkyo at the Curionesty College 5th coming-of-age ceremony.

Welcome to Curionesty College’s fifth coming-of-age ceremony.

Each year on November 11th, we will sink our teeth into something serious while others go on a shopping spree. It will be a time to get together and give our 17 year old students the blessing of growing up to be adults when others are proud to be bachelors.

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Just in case you don’t know, I repeat every year another important reason why we chose this date.November 11th is the final day of World War I. It is the first day of World War II. Our first coming-of-age ceremony, 2018, coincides with the 100th anniversary of the end of WWI. We want to look forward on this day to the disappearance of war and the replacement of it with a mitzvah. Confucius said that rites are lost and sought in the wild. This means that a certain “rite” that has been generally lost in mainstream society should be sought out in the people.

And this rite, as I understand it, is summed up in one word: civilization.

The coming-of-age ceremony is one of the most serious programs at Curionesty College, and we expect everyone to take it seriously and prepare for it. Because it’s the civilized thing to do, and war is never the opposite of civilization. It always breaches the boundaries of dignity.

Franklin said that there is no just war in the world and no unjust peace. War is full of uncertainty and harm, while peace guarantees certainty and growth. Don’t underestimate the power of cumulative growth. You have done many projects filled with uncertainty at Curious, because real life is like that. The only coming-of-age ceremony that demands extra certainty is the one that requires everyone to write carefully and read aloud in formal attire. Because writing is more certain than speaking. Because we want you, on this day, to fully identify the forces of certainty that can sustain you as you grow into adulthood, to safeguard your growth in certainty. The choice of this day for the coming-of-age ceremony, and the most serious way of approaching this day, carries deep within it one of our hopes for you, which is that you will be a defender of peace, a person who does not tolerate harm to others, and a civilized person.

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I know the five of you must have been under a lot of pressure during this time. To prepare for something serious, you must be extra cautious. All of us are afraid of saying and doing the wrong thing. But don’t let your fear keep you from doing things, but let it help you to do better things and to do things better too. Every year today, I have to find some more differences between adults and non-adults. A true adult must be more resilient and able to regulate his or her behavior under different pressures. Many nominal adults appear to be adults, but are not. Many will crumble under pressure, many will compromise under pressure. Especially in these years of your near-adulthood, in the foreseeable future, I want you to remain resilient. Fight stress with a growth mindset.

3

A friend used to say that the process of schooling is the process of making the light go out of children’s eyes. It is because we don’t want to sit back and watch such a tragic situation that we at Curionesty College are making all sorts of attempts. I wish education could be normal, and that normal education wouldn’t dim the light in your eyes. I wish we could try to protect the light in your eyes. All five of you, I’ve basically known you since you were 12 or 13 years old or even earlier. I see the state you are in today, I see your eyes, and comparing them to your peers, I know that our efforts have made some difference, and I hope that you will stop relying solely on the protection of others during this time before graduation. Learn to protect yourselves as well, and protect the light in your eyes.

We had the privilege of having our coming-of-age ceremony at the beach today. This is different from the past. I would like to ask you to imagine if you did not have a map of the world as it exists today in your mind, would you, standing on the shore, be willing to cross the ocean? Actually, crossing the ocean is not even an accurate term anymore; if you didn’t know the opposite shore existed, it would only be called crossing the ocean. Are you willing to try? Or, with a growth mindset, under what conditions are you willing to take on the challenge to see? And how should those conditions be reached? Since ancient times, there have been many warriors who have rafted the oceans alone. What kind of people were they? They were actually ordinary people, but they had light in their eyes. Their curiosity allowed them to see the light of the unknown. They could see what existed on the other side.

At the beach, some people can only see obstacles, but those with light in their eyes can see anticipation and love. Their eyes see the sea and the sky, and they reflect the shiny sparkling waves. I want all of you to be adults with light in your eyes. One day, I hope it will light up your eyes not only with the reflection of the sun, but also with the brightness of your heart. I sincerely wish you all the best as you grow into adults! Thank you all!

Teachers, students, parents, guests.

Hello, I am a wild intelligent humanoid creature inhabiting Curionesty College, Wu Han. I’ve been in this habitat for over two years now, and I’m very happy with it.

I’m 17, an adult, writing a speech for a bar mitzvah. It’s an amazing feeling, having to face so many people and deliver a long speech before I even get myself figured out. Personally, I don’t think the most important thing to me about the Bar Mitzvah ceremony is that it’s a new stage in my life, that I’ll be graduating in six months, and that I’ll get a lot of gifts.

Curious about the two rites of passage (Bar Mitzvah and Graduation) In my understanding, the Graduation Rite is a summary of my studies and growth at Curious, while the Bar Mitzvah is a summary of my entire state before I became an adult, so I’m going to divide my speech into two parts: the Wu Han who has set his goals, and the Wu Han who is taking action nowadays.

Wu Han who set the goal

I think my life really started in the moment when I had a clear big goal and was willing to act on it – when I wanted to draw comics.

I wanted to draw comics, and it happened when I was in third grade.

One day in third grade, the class had just been rearranged, and I was assigned the window seat. There were no classmates around me who could be called “best friends”, and I was quite bored when I suddenly saw two people in front of me, who put a few colorful chalks on the window sill, and smashed them into powder with a blackboard eraser or something else, which was called “alchemy”. Then I immediately came to the interest, excited to join the ranks of the “alchemy”, and they made friends. At that time, I even thought of the description “I have reacquainted myself with my classmates whom I have been meeting for more than two years” in my head.

A few of us started playing, and then a few other students joined in. Although we never sharpened chalk again, we formed a small group that played together every day, and with a small group, it was only natural to do something fun that brought everyone together. So one day, one of the first students to sharpen chalk drew some matchmakers, the one with the white head was himself, the one with the black head was this one, the one with the square head was that one, and I was the one with the black head and the hat. He then put these little people into a paper game, and the rest of us needed to solve the puzzles he gave us to trace a suspenseful event step by step. The paper game, of course, had to be drawn, and the more he drew, the more he got into it, and after one of the puzzles was done he started drawing comic strips to tie the plot together, and even more so when the mastermind, a dragon with a round head, appeared, filling the paper with split-screen squares. It occurs to me that in video games, we generally called them CG transitions, so we were a bit ahead of the curve when it came to big video games. Why do I say “we”? Because under this student’s influence, several others started drawing stories for the same series of comics.

The pleasant memory of creating our own stories and showing them to each other in our notebooks at the end of class is deeply embedded in my DNA, and after reading some serious comics, an immature, but exceptionally firm idea appeared in my mind – I wanted to be a “cartoonist! “I wanted to be a cartoonist. To be more specific, I wanted to be a storyteller using the medium of comics, no matter what kind of story I was creating.

There’s nothing that influenced me more as a kid than the time we spent making up stories and having fun together. I’ve been missing and chasing that ever since, and that’s the old me. However, the claws of traditional education had opened up and pushed a huge wave over me, which I couldn’t bear, so I came here after a few difficulties.

From there, I studied at Curious for more than two years, and became the Wu Han you see now. At this point, there is no more storytelling. This man already has a goal to work towards for many years, but what kind of a person he is in himself, let’s have a good scolding – no, a good look.

Wu Han on the move

I’m going to summarize today’s self in a special, completely different form than the last panel.

Look, folks, there’s my reflection on that wall over there, and although it’s dull and fuzzy, it’s definitely there. I am standing here at this moment as another person to talk to that present self.

A: I heard your speech, you want to express something but you don’t have the ability to do so, so you talk about your childhood, but is there any real meaning in that? You said you wanted to summarize your life, but what did you summarize? Just your goals? Is there only one goal left in your life? Are you too self-centered?

B: I didn’t just talk about goals, but I was influenced a lot by my experiences in elementary school, and I’ve been in that state ever since. I used to want to play and create freely, so talking about this is already a kind of summary. Am I self-centered, maybe, but I didn’t mention the people I wanted to thank because I wanted to create a coherent experience focused on a single point, is that okay?

A: Self-justification. You’re afraid to admit it, so you turn yourself into a hypocrite by concocting a seemingly sensible reason and convincing yourself to believe it after it’s already been done. I’ve noticed in my months of observation that you always have an inexplicable sense of superiority over what you’ve accomplished, and every time you accomplish a trivial innovation, you think, “I’m just so good at this,” and then revel in it, gloating, leaving the rest of the world behind, and watching your greatness over and over again. You’ve been able to fool yourself, so it’s not hard for you to hide and avoid your shortcomings, which I think is despicable.

B: I constantly express my lack of ability in front of people, is this hiding? Is it running away when I take the initiative to do something I was once afraid to do? Also, shouldn’t one feel some sense of accomplishment when creating something new? Suppressing it only makes it harder and harder to move forward thereafter, right? You say I’m making up reasons, but I think it just boils down. Can’t a person make themselves comfortable, and wouldn’t filling the potholes in a piece of wing make it better at what it does?

A: You’re making things sound too small to be true, as if letting it happen won’t make a difference. I can feel an invisible barrier rising up in your body to wrap your heart around it as you say these words. You have to consider the impact of accomplishment, and instead of a little heart rising to keep trying, you waste most of your time in constant repetition of self-appreciation. It is perfectly fine for you to speak all the way down to the end of elementary school about why you went to a day school, why you later went to the international section of other schools, why you didn’t want to go to school again, why you finally came to wonder, and then to discover the direction of your mind. In the midst of this it is also possible to find other people in your mind, mention them, and then experience and try to understand them so that you have a decent understanding of your past. But only talking about life goals, that makes your mind look empty. As for hiding flaws, I’ll be blunt, you probably don’t even realize that you’re only showing weakness like that to get sympathy and make yourself feel better, not to actually show flaws.

B: Ugh, basically right, it can still be absorbed after extracting the key information. But you’re slightly venting your emotions like that. So I’m searching to see if you shouldn’t also consider whether there’s anything logically wrong with your own organized language before pointing out someone else’s flaws in a very blunt manner; you’ve always called me out on it, and you don’t have much of a level of sophistication yourself. My decadence in middle school was nothing more than the result of that passion for free creativity clashing with institutional education, I’ve thought about it, and now I get emotional if there’s too much going on and I don’t have time to draw. That’s basically what happened. I understand how helpless my mother was during the period when I didn’t want to go to school, and I know exactly how much effort my parents made to help me. Almost all of the various opportunities I’ve been given since elementary school have been due to their efforts to find them, and they really did help me very much with my limited perception at the time. Harm, you are right. But we have to find more things that will be useful for the future, and my parents’ labors were forced upon me because I didn’t have the motivation to move up on my own. Now that I have, it’s time to discuss some new experiences.

A: I really don’t have any level, we all have less stuff in our heads, and now we’re not just discussing how to become better. But I just realized today that you’re quite easily shy, so I won’t force you to thank others more. Then look elsewhere for something more positive. In the past you’ve been in a slump, so since coming to Curious, do you have a tangible sense that you’re getting better, and if so, in what ways?

B: Most obviously in terms of painting technique, which is obvious and doesn’t need to be explained. Two years is actually a lot longer than one would expect, and anyone who goes through the same length of time will improve in what they are good at. But interestingly enough, it was only this year, or to be extreme, this semester, that my drawing skills began to grow at a faster rate. The reason for this is discipline and responsibility. After two years, I finally realized the importance of regular practice. You guys might think that’s outrageous, I felt the same way when I first realized that I had a lot more free time last semester than I do this semester, but it’s because I didn’t have a regular schedule that I procrastinated most of the time. So now it’s just a group I’ve created for myself, specifically for people to make a regular plan and execute it. As the leader of the group, I had to lead by example, so I drew every two days, and the results came up. It’s quite an accomplishment, and it’s quite a bit higher than last semester’s teahouse cartoon work.

A: The atmosphere got better.

B: The other thing is the cognitive aspect. It’s been like waking up from a dream for me for the last two years or so, what with the history of civilization, critical thinking, General Knowledge Week, it’s not like the variety of institutional schools before that, it’s really teaching you knowledge that you can use in all areas. The end result is a change in mindset where I can use them unintentionally to make better choices in all sorts of things. A third wonderful feeling comes out of it, I’m able to see the world more comfortably, which is good.

A: So next-

B: Hold your tongue, it’s not finished. Anyway, I’m feeling pretty good about myself at the moment, I just shook out all the problems I thought I had in a slightly extreme way, and that’s not much of a burden to bear, being an adult, that’s what it is. After that, I will cherish the time I am curious, learn more, and then go to practice when I graduate. Who knows what the future will be like, but it’s not that I don’t think about it directly, I am thinking that I will look at it with the mindset of “ah, it’s really coming, and I have to prepare for it”.

At this point, I became a human being. And then I continue to speak.

I’ve always felt that I’m quite a baffling person, I definitely don’t have enough stuff in my head, my thinking has improved quite a bit but it’s still quite confusing, and also, I haven’t picked a mentor in over two years, which I can’t really understand what’s going on with me anymore. So later on there will be no mentor who will come up and give his blessing, and this fear has been pervading my mind, so I’ve been holding back a 5,000 word draft.

But lately I can feel that I’ve really been moving forward, upward, ascending diagonally, absorbing new things all the time, though not learning enough to absorb them. But I’ve been experiencing a bright yellow feeling that says, it’s okay, it’s all good around me, there’s nothing really uncomfortable. I’m making progress, I’m getting new inspirations, and I’m not outright depressed about anything. But the conflict in my mind hasn’t actually been really resolved yet, and I’m trying to take my time, and usually just refine it a few more times like I just did, and ask myself a few questions and stuff like that.

That’s it for me, thanks for listening.

Wu Han’s mother’s message at the coming-of-age ceremony

Dear Wu Han:

It’s hard to believe that you’re already 17 years old. In every previous coming-of-age ceremony, you and I were just witnesses, but today, you became the main character and I became the main character’s mother.

It’s hard to believe that you’ve grown up, but the truth is, you really have. Your father and I have a very deep understanding of this point, take the picture for example, in your still a bare buttocks little kid, your father bought a special camera, to you often just wantonly take a big picture of a pass, regardless of whether you wear pants. No matter from which angle to take pictures of you, you have no problem. But now you have grown into a once I looked down, then to look down, and now to look up at the young man of one meter seven or so, and now you have to take a picture of you, but also through your permission to do so.

You have really grown up, before I have to ask me how to do things, but now, many things are their own decision;

You have really grown up, in the past I had to carry on doing heavy work by myself, but now you have become my savior, as long as I call your name, you can always appear in front of me, and I can always get your help;

You really grew up, began to often take the initiative to care about your mother, often hear you say to your mother: “Mom, you do not too tired”; “Mom, you go to bed early ha”; “Mom, you in the end what time to sleep? ” “Mom, pay attention to your health!” In the middle of the night your mother got sick and went to the hospital emergency room, you became her protector straight away, accompanying her to the hospital alone and doing everything you could for her;

You’ve really grown up, and you’re starting to be anxious about your future, and you’re also starting to make efforts for your future;

That you’ve really grown up, and that you didn’t know how to deal with your emotions before, and now, you can take your time and deal with them on your own.

Do you know why we like to call you “Hanbo”? Of course, we don’t call you “Hanbo” because you like to eat hamburgers, but because you are a shining treasure in our family. When you were little, you were the most precious thing in mom and dad’s heart, and now you are the treasure that allows us to grow, and mind you, growing is not just your right, it’s ours too.

You have taught us what it takes to be a parent, you have taught us that there are many possibilities in one’s life, and you have taught us to respect, understand, and support each other. You have often shared with us what you know, what you have seen, what you have insights into, and you have opened our eyes.

Hanbo, here, your father and I would like to thank you for making us happier and happier! We are still relying on you for our future, and I hope we won’t fall behind and solidify because of you.

Hanbo, you have a lot for us to learn from:

You have been physically weak since you were a child, but you always wanted to be a sports committee member, three years in a row, you went up to the stage to give a speech to run for the election, of course, must have lost, but this momentum is what we all need to learn from you today.

You were raised to be kind and unwilling to hurt anything.

You have had a sense of justice since you were a child, and when you see your older classmates bullying your younger classmates, you are very unsettled inside, and you always want to be stronger to help them out.

You have had your own ambition from a very young age and have been working hard for it.

You have had your own mind from a very early age, which often amazes me when I talk to you.

You were a sensible child, often looking at things from a neutral point of view. There are things that you say and do. There are rules that even I sometimes compromise on, but you make them work.

Today you are one of the protagonists of the coming-of-age ceremony, which means that you have become an adult, which means that you can be independent, you can be autonomous, you can take charge, you can be respected, and you can go to respect others, you can take responsibility for your words and actions, you can also fight for your dreams, and you can also go to experience the joy of success and the sadness of failure.

Maybe you will be anxious about your future, this is normal, because the future is still unknown to us, if I were you, I would also be anxious. However, since it is unknown, there is no need for us to be too anxious, because the future is achieved by our present accumulation little by little, we just need to grasp the present, down-to-earth and hard work to do what we want to do, what we like to do, so that every day of our life into the positive and meaningful day we want, the future is naturally the positive and meaningful future we want.

Wu Han, the reason why I want to give you this name is because your father expects you to be a real man, to be a great man, to be a man who will not be intimidated by setbacks at any time, that’s why the name Wu Han was given to you. And your mother expects you to be a person who is happy and blissful throughout your life.

Joy and happiness come from being tolerant and accepting of yourself and others, so whether you are perfect or not, whether you are good or not, please make sure that you accept yourself and love yourself, and when you can accept and love yourself, please accept and love others in the same way. But if you want to be tolerant and accepting, you need to be broad-minded, and if you want to be broad-minded, you need to be wise, and if you want to be wise, you need to keep learning, so I expect you to be a person who can be a lifelong learner.

Wu Han, please believe in yourself, believe in your own ability, believe in your own future, believe that the successes and setbacks in life are experiences that allow you to grow, believe that any time in life is the starting point, believe that as long as you keep insisting on doing it.

Please also don’t forget to appreciate and realize the happiness in life, because there is no one but ourselves who can stop us from being happy, because happiness is given to us by our inner selves, because there are positive and negative sides to everything, and as long as we look at the positive side with our heart, we will be happy.

Please also always remember to be grateful to all those who have helped you, because if you are always grateful, your heart will be soft, and if your heart is soft, your heart will be happy.

Please also help others often, in fact, helping others is helping yourself, because if we make others happy, we will be happy.

Finally, I use your father’s words to do the end, son, no matter where you go, no matter you meet success or failure, smooth or frustration, mom and dad will always love you, our heart will always accompany you, support you, trust you!

Finally, as a parent, I would like to thank all the teachers of Curious, Chi Xiao, Bottle, Bo, Qi Liang, Jiang Wenyu, Zhang Xu, Wu Ying, and all the teachers who have accompanied and are now accompanying Wu Han, it is you who have been sowing seeds in your child’s heart with your most sincere heart, sowing seeds that make your child curious, self-confident, self-conscious, courageous, independent, strong, and autonomous. It is you, all the teachers, who have been sowing seeds in the hearts of children with your most sincere hearts, sowing seeds of curiosity, self-confidence, self-awareness, courage, independence, strength and autonomy, which will play an extraordinary role when they face the future. So here, I bow to you.

I would also like to give a special thanks to Ms. Yin, who cooks delicious meals 365 days a year so that the children can grow up healthy, thank you!

I would also like to thank my classmates who have grown up with Wu Han. You have accompanied him with your passionate youth like flowers and sunshine, making him more and more positive and happy!

Thank you all!

I do think about what it will be like on the day I come of age a million times. I have also more or less attended the 18th birthdays of friends older than me. Some of them had a passionate and boisterous time, while others had a bland time and didn’t even have a birthday cake. I still remember two years ago, a friend and I were sitting on a park bench at 4:00 a.m. for his 18th birthday, looking at the dark night sky and talking. He told me that he had been looking forward to his 18th, but today he realized that the transition from adolescence to adulthood doesn’t seem to be something that has to be a rite of passage, and that for him, other than the fact that he didn’t go to bed at 4 a.m. and chatted with me in the park, everything else was pretty normal. When the weekend was over, he still had to go back to the place where he was training to live the life he was repeating every day. That was the first time I expressed skepticism about my arrival at 18.

So it’s actually a blessing that I came to be curious, and I’ve experienced a lot of things that I once felt didn’t fit with me, including this bar mitzvah. The experience was amazing, even if I had fantasized about all sorts of Bar Mitzvahs before, I never imagined that there would be one like today, where I would be surrounded by my family, friends, teachers, and classmates who would be attending in formal attire, and sitting down to listen to me prattle on stage.

I still feel a little surprised when I look back on my short 17 years. The old me never thought I would be where I am now. Although as a person with an extremely competitive spirit, I never thought my life would be anything less than bumpy, I never expected it to be this bumpy either. From the beginning, when I was studying hard for junior high school, and constantly in conflict with my parents, to finally getting into the middle school I wanted to go to before, to being isolated in school, being coldly violated by the campus, suffering from depression, taking a break from school, and constantly searching for a cure, and finally coming to Curious, each and every thing seems to have happened yesterday. I’ve bumped into a lot of people along the way, some of whom have made me realize that there are all kinds of outrageous things in the world, some of whom have given me a clearer idea of where I stand, and some of whom have made me learn more.

I’ve been asked this question many times: why did you come to Curious? I can honestly say that I was really desperate. At that time my mind was filled with all sorts of depressing things and it felt like life was pointless. I tried to do everything during the years I took off from school, I took guitar lessons, I took dance lessons, I took painting lessons, I took all kinds of crafts. I tried going back to school, I tried getting in shape, I tried being a teacher. After I realized that all my efforts were in vain, I lost my passion for everything, I didn’t want to do anything, I couldn’t die even if I wanted to, and I muddled through life repeating myself every day. I was beyond desperate for such a life, but there was nothing I could do about it. Until one day, my mother came to me with a cell phone, pointing to the above curious information on the recruitment of teachers and asked me to try, I just saw that there is no educational requirements above and agreed. To me at the time, it didn’t matter what I did, life was just a different way of continuing to keep me uninterested. So my mom called the bottle, and after inquiring about it, she got the answer, “Your child would be better suited to be a student here”. My mom asked me again, and this time I hesitated. The reason was simple: if I said yes without giving it much thought as I had done before, there was a good chance that I would be wasting my time and my parents would be wasting their money. Time hasn’t been important to me for a long time, but money is different, and I don’t think anyone would have a problem with money either. After thinking it over, I decided to check it out.

When I first visited Gamer’s Delight, I thought the environment there could only be described as “dreary”. The dilapidated house, overgrown shrubs, and the gate that could be tumbled into with a single hand left me at a loss for words. I looked at Duan Haoyuan and Zhang Zijie’s long hair and She Zuyue’s misanthropic face and fell into a deep thought, I thought this is more than a little bit different from what I had imagined ah. But I’m a person who honestly does not pay attention to the environment, so I did not have any excessive waves in my heart, but also told the bottle: I think it’s fine, it’s quite good, I kinda like this style, but I don’t know why it was later rumored to be a curiosity for me to come because I like the environment of the player’s music. Although I admit that I did get hooked in by the bus library, and nowadays I’m not afraid to say that I love to read, but at the time I did have my attention drawn to the bus library, especially after I heard that it was remodeled by the students themselves, and my interest came immediately.

After a heated discussion with my parents, I decided to give it a try. During the two weeks of my trial period, I didn’t attend any morning classes, and I couldn’t live a normal life because of my upside-down routine. One day I heard Tianyu Li say, “You’re just paying to sleep here. I was devastated, and at the end of the two-week trial I resolved to be hospitalized to adjust. Until then, I had never been one to say no to hospitalization, but I did feel it was time to make a change.

I stayed in the hospital for half a month, met some of my “sick friends” and started to get interested in things again. My sleep became more normal and I felt like I could go back to being curious, except for the nightmares I had day and night. Back to being curious, I started attending classes on time, signing up for classes, working as a scriptwriter for a theater class, writing original songs, etc., and life started to get better from there.

But I actually started to get anxious about the future at the beginning of this year, and I’m a person who has never had the courage to step out of my comfort zone on my own accord. However soon I’m going to be forced to step out of the comfort zone I’ve nestled in for 17 years, I’m terrified of what’s to come and I feel like I’m in deep shit. I try to force myself to face reality, but the reality is that I just want to escape. I ask myself a lot of questions but frustratingly I can’t seem to answer any of them. My mood and state of life has been high and low at times, and this has had certain not-so-good effects on those around me and myself, and I would like to thank you all for your tolerance and understanding.

Until the home visit three weeks ago, I was so overwhelmed being sandwiched between my parents that I didn’t even dare to look up at the expression on Chi Xiao’s face across the room. It seemed like the first time I had ever had a serious discussion about my future with Ji Xiao outside of tutor time. Prior to that, even if Ji Xiao had just mentioned it to me, I would have wanted to run away. I was on pins and needles that day, and I felt a strange feeling in my heart that I couldn’t describe. But I truly realized that I was a very lucky person. Mom and Dad kept mentioning between the lines that they would support my choices, and even when I was very upfront about the fact that I didn’t want to go to college, they didn’t react as I expected, but continued to discuss the ways in which I could find my own goals.

It was at that point that I began to seriously think about why I was hesitant to move into those areas when I clearly had hobbies. I realized that what I was afraid of was that going down that path would be something I would regret and something that I wouldn’t be able to eat because I didn’t think I had that ability to turn my ideals into reality. I also realized that I was overlooking something very important, and a mistake that many people often make – worrying before they’ve even done it. I remembered a quote from a blogger I really like: you don’t have to think about it, you just do it, your head is empty, and it’s easy to do. I began to think seriously about the ways in which I could accomplish what I wanted to do if I chose a certain path – a path by which I could eat. Putting aside my assessment of my own abilities and the various external factors I was worried about, I finally realized that my future was not actually a lost cause. I realized that, in fact, even after graduation, with my parents’ support, I still have quite a bit of time to study. But I still had to grab the time and resources to do more studying, and I started to keep track of my day to day life, looking back at the end of the day to see if I had wasted any time, and where I had wasted it. The stress is still there of course, but I at least have a general idea of what my future holds.

I’m grateful to my mom and dad for quietly supporting me through the hardest times in my life so far, and they never gave up on me from start to finish. I know they feel guilty about what happened to me in middle school, but I can tell them with certainty: I don’t blame you, all parents want their kids to be good, but everyone has a different definition of good. The fact that you were willing to do what it took to get me out of the muck, whether it worked or not, was enough. I never hated you guys, and, well, I love you.

Looking back at my life now, it’s still quite emotional. I don’t realize that I’m almost an adult and I’m a world away from my past self, but I don’t care anymore. After all, people don’t necessarily live their lives for stability, and I think I’d rather have variables in my life, life goes on all the time. I will choose to live my life well, no matter how hard the process is.

Kexin’s mother’s speech at the coming of age ceremony

Parents, teachers and students:

Good morning, everyone!

Thank you Curionesty College for organizing such a ceremony to document the growth of our children. This moment today means that our children have become adults, and I am very happy about that.

First of all, I would like to thank Curious for accepting, accommodating, respecting, and encouraging our children over the past year and a half. I remember fondly that when our children first started school, I worried every day and asked the teachers about our children every day. I often went to Ms. Bottle to talk to her, and she always analyzed and answered my questions in a very calm manner. Although she didn’t say much, after communicating with me, I slowly learned to reflect on myself, comfort myself, and finally chose to let go, believing that my child would get better and better.

As a parent, I witnessed my child’s failure to attend classes on time, and then she made a conscious effort to change, rationalize her work schedule, and then slowly find her way in her favorite field of music, and then actively complete the various tasks assigned by her teacher. Although there were still moments of confusion during the process, as well as pressure due to the time constraints, my child was able to overcome all of the challenges. What makes me feel very happy is that when my child encounters these difficulties, she is willing to call me to talk, communicate and discuss. This feeling of being trusted warms my heart.

What I appreciate most about Curiosity is that it allows children to utilize their talents in a team, to undertake, to discover, to coordinate, to create, and to accomplish in the process of working together, so that they can continue to learn and grow themselves. Every time I listen to my children share with me curious things, from their own teachers to classmates, to activities, full of happiness, I am from the bottom of my heart, this feeling is so good.

Dear child:

From today, you are stepping into the ranks of adults, mom and dad sincerely bless you! Youth and joy fly together, ambition and struggle together, 18 years old, a magnificent age, a new milestone, you have entered the ranks of adults, which means that from now on will take on greater responsibility, and continue to mature, in the future stage of life to realize your dreams. The road to happiness in life you have come to the ten-minute stage, the future life experience will gradually increase, the future road of life will be long and colorful.

In the future, we must learn to be contented and give up, everything must not go to extremes, no matter what will find a point of satisfaction, which is contentment; and the so-called give up, is to give up and get the dialectical relationship, firmly believe that “those who do not do anything, nothing to do”, savor the “get is blessed, to give up is blessed, to be contented is happiness! It is only happiness when one is contented.”

Ke Xin, the process of raising you, from toddler to babbling to entering the school, my father and I accompanied you every moment is full of happiness, over the years, many of my mother’s educational style mistakes, let you hurt, mom is very sorry, but at the same time, we are trying to change. Feel Ke Xin from arbitrary digging strong to now take the initiative to communicate, I hope that we from love each other to the future only love and harmony and happiness.

The road ahead is long, but we firmly believe that you are fully capable of pursuing your life path, a road of happiness belonging exclusively to you, free to fly, we will always guard our princess, mom and dad will always be your strongest backing, go for it! Ride the wind and waves of the teenager.

May your heart’s desire be all as you wish.

Love, mom and dad.

Ke Xin’s mentor, Ji Xiao, at the Bar Mitzvah ceremony

Mr. Zhang Kexin:

I remember when you first came here, it was as if you had just returned to your home country. Although you hadn’t been abroad at all, your routine made every student think that you were living in the Western Hemisphere.

On the day of the orientation talk, you were at war with your parents sitting across from you. This should be the only time I’ve ever had to interrupt a freshman orientation talk to separate you from Mom and Dad.

Since you’re often so emo, everyone couldn’t agree more with your new nickname, Zhang emo.

You’ve only been here for a little over a year. When you first came here, you were actually quite old compared to the other students. It takes time for a person to grow, and I was actually worried about whether you would be able to successfully grow to a mature and stable state in Curious in such a short period of time.

I was not at all sure whether you would leave because of your credit score or because of your own emotional breakdown.

However, you quickly showed us how much a person’s determination can make a difference. Your abilities began to unfold in many, many, many ways, as many as the hair colors you’ve dyed.

When you resolved to adjust your routine, in less than a month you had successfully reversed your jet lag and returned from the Western Hemisphere to the Eastern Hemisphere. You also consciously began to control the negative effects of some of your vices on yourself.

You started reading a lot and came close to winning the reading league. You also showed your understanding and hard work in the VOC music composition program and soon composed the first song of your life. We all often see you practicing the piano.

You have the ability to create, you can quickly write good words, basically the heavy responsibility of adapting the drama script falls on your head, the last semester’s improvisational writing about “love, what is it?” is also very outstanding, which is inseparable from your basic skills of reading.

At the same time, you also showed your sense of justice and public concern. You also presented your research on teenage depression very clearly at the final exhibition in the first half of the year.

You have had helpless bumpy experiences in the past, and these experiences can make you more able to empathize with people in need. The dilemmas within you that only you understand will be a great asset when you have the ability to find a solution for yourself.

Rabindranath Tagore said that the world kissed me with pain so that I would sing in return. This quote has inspired me deeply before and I want to share it with you.

This year is your Bar Mitzvah, and I have a few final reminders for you.

First, stigma is the biggest obstacle in our way, and the reason stigma is stigma is because we usually have a hard time noticing it. It requires you to be self-reflective and to actively listen to the feedback of others. If it’s different from what you expected, don’t be quick to refute it, but think about the validity of the disagreement.

Secondly, you often mention that you like Marquez, but you can’t quite put your finger on why. In fact, you have been touched, but the specific thoughts need to be organized, and the best way to organize them, is to go writing. The fact that you showed me the manuscript for this Bar Mitzvah twice is actually a process of self-organization. I hope you’ll stick with it for the long haul. If Marquez can write those scenes, you must be able to write why he appeals to you.

Third, be patient with yourself and with others. The most flavorful soup is made with patience, and the most classic works are honed with patience. You have a long road ahead of you, and more wonders are yours to discover with patience. The changes you were able to make in the past can surely be reproduced in the future.

Last but not least, I would like to sincerely thank Ke Xin’s parents for their trust and commitment to us. Your growth is the best education for her. I wish you all peace and happiness as a family.

Good morning everyone! Today is November 11, 2021, our Curionesty College’s fourth Independence Day, and we are celebrating the Bar Mitzvahs of three 17 year olds, Wu Han, Wu Yishen, and Zhang Kexin. Thank you all for taking the time to witness it with us.

Many people ask why the curious Bar Mitzvah is at 17 and not 18.

Socrates said that an unreflected life is not worth living.

First of all, we need to realize that there are actually a lot of things that we take for granted that we don’t think hard enough about why it has become what it is today. Not everything is so deserved.

So why is 18 adulthood? Is it the same all over the world? Has it been that way since the beginning of time? Does this setup make sense? If it should be changed, how should it be changed?

Coming of age at 18 is a mark given to us by law and social convention. What does adulthood mean for ourselves?

Legally, we are suddenly adults on the day we turn 18.

But adulthood as a state is not a linear outcome, but a complex process.

We often criticize many adults for not acting like an adult. That’s why writer Wu Zhihong satirizes them as giant babies, and writer Yu Shicun calls them humanoid children. Mr. Peng Xiaohua once translated a book called How to Make Children Adults and Adults. What we at Curionesty College keep reminding you to think about is this question: How to make yourself an adult?

Adulthood means that the law no longer restricts you from smoking, drinking, going to nightclubs, bars, dance clubs, and internet cafes.

Your parents, as your guardians, can also legally stop caring about whether you have any of these worrisome habits or hang out in these worrisome places. Yes, they can stop caring about you, and of course, at the same time, they can stop giving you pocket money.

It is the basic responsibility of every adult to be self-supporting, and the power to govern yourself will really transition from your parents to you.

No one else can control you, but you honestly ask yourself, do you need someone to control you? And who can govern you? The sovereignty to manage you is in your hands, are you up to the job? Are you prepared for it? How are you going to get started?

We all aspired as children to a state of unfettered freedom as adults, but the reality is that freedom may not be as romantic as you think it is to be able to do everything you want to do. Our time and energy are very limited, as are our will and ability. What adulthood will bring you is not the freedom to indulge, but largely, the freedom to choose not to.

The truth of freedom is sometimes closer to the fact that you know there are many things you can do without. And what can be done is to go ahead and invest your full capacity in the limited options you have chosen out of your own peace of mind and settle in. Enter a state of disciplined self-discipline.

This will be a long process of discovery.

I hope that in this process of exploration you will keep your heart and remind yourself to be careful what you say and what you do, so that you do not let your impulses lead you to regret.

I hope that in this quest you will encourage yourself to go higher, to explore places that no one else has ever explored.

You are going to have to make many, many choices to determine where you go.

My hope is that in making your choices, you will keep your heart safe.

Choose to lean in when you can muddle through.

When you can be disingenuous, choose to be honorable.

When you can be complicit, choose to stay out of the mud.

When there are extenuating circumstances, choose to bite the bullet.

To be able to make these decisions, you will have to go through trials. This is not an easy area to muddle through.

So why do we have a Bar Mitzvah at 17?

It’s because we want you to start preparing ahead of time. The countdown to adulthood began long ago and never stops, and you must remind yourself that you must begin to hold yourself to the standards of true adulthood from this day forward to continue learning.

I hope that while you are learning, you will keep your heart.

When you can be uninformed, choose to be humble and ask for guidance.

When you can stop growing, choose to keep learning.

This year, we were fortunate to have Mr. Fan Xiao as our Bar Mitzvah speaker. Mr. Fan Xiao is an experienced learner whom I respect very much. We have had him give lectures at Curious before, and he took us on a full day tour of Jianmen Pass during Chuan Yue. We say that we should read ten thousand volumes of books and travel ten thousand miles, and he is practicing what he preaches, and he really does it.

I often read Mr. Fan Xiao’s public website “River and Mountain Without Words”, and I can see his love for geography between the lines. He was the chief engineer of the Sichuan Geological Corps, and the map of China is a four-dimensional three-dimensional map in his case, and he has personally traveled to many mountains and rivers. He has done in-depth research on the Three Gorges issue and the earthquake issue. He walks in space, also walks in time, trillions of years of geological landscape evolution, paleontological fossil exploration and protection, he is an expert. He looks up at the size of the universe and down at the abundance of categories.

He is a senior writer and photographer for National Geographic and has a unique sense of beauty. He is also not untouched by the world; he has had a column and a long history of soccer commentary.

I hope that all of you will put your love into action as Mr. Fan Xiao did, which is why we invited him.

I hope all of you will keep your hearts and listen carefully to Mr. Fan Xiao’s precious life experience. Finally, I solemnly congratulate the three students on growing up, and I am sure you will become the people you want to be! Thank you all!

Hello, teachers, students, and parents, my name is Yishen Wu.

Bar Mitzvah is an annual ceremony organized by Curionesty College for students who have reached the age of 17. Participating in this ceremony means that the students are saying goodbye to the “childish” stage of their lives and are moving towards maturity. The Polynesian Tiguan Piñon people will paint the bar mitzvah boy with a blood-like mixture of turmeric and coconut oil to symbolize the boy’s “death”.

I’m not a big fan of formal events myself, probably because I’m a very spontaneous person who doesn’t like to be tied down by rules and regulations, which is one of the reasons why I chose to come to Curionesty College.

At the age of 14, just entering puberty, I came to Curious with rebellion and impulsiveness. At that time, I was anorexic, addicted to games, socially inactive, and often quarreled with my parents, which was almost the darkest period of my life. First of all, I would like to thank all my teachers for not giving up on me, and thank you all for putting up with my little temperament, and also thank my parents for being tolerant of me, and thank my tutor, Mr. Bo, for his teachings to me.

That semester in ’18, I attended my classmates’ bar mitzvahs for the first time, and on that day, I put on a suit and tie, looked at my outfit in front of the mirror, and imagined that by the time of my own bar mitzvah, I might have solved some puzzle of the century, or I might have been able to travel the world without a care in the world, and unfortunately, I had done none of those things. Until a few weeks before my bar mitzvah, I was still scratching my head over what to write for my speech, still worrying about the future, always feeling like everything was ethereal, and never finding meaning in my seventeen years of life.

When I chose to come to Curious, it was more like entering a utopia, where there were no mountains of homework, no boring classes, and no need to get up at 7:00 a.m. in most schools, but to this day I realize that I was actually wrong. In Curious, although there is no system of all kinds of restrictions, but we need to face the difficult problems of life earlier than public school students, but also more personal independence, to be completely separated from parents, alone to face life.

Here, all learning is done on your own, and if you don’t follow the rules and deduct to the appropriate credit score, you have to leave. And you need to do more planning for your future, and where to go after graduation. This is one thing I don’t want to face, I don’t want to grow up, I don’t want to face these “problems of the century”, I used to think that when I reached that age, I would naturally be able to see the direction of the future, or at least have a plan, but the reality has dealt me a heavy blow, none of these things have come, the future is still a mystery. Because of this confusion, I especially envied the public school students who had no other worries except for homework, while I myself had all worries except for homework.

During this time of confusion, I wanted to escape from the reality of my impending adulthood – the uncertainty of my future, the need to earn my own living, and the fact that I could no longer use my age as an excuse for doing something wrong. Maybe it was to “get back” for growing up, or maybe it was to have fun and vent in my short-lived “childhood”. At that time, I ate after waking up, ate and played with my cell phone in bed, and then in the evening, when my friends from the public school got out of school, I went out to ride with them, usually from the evening of the first day to the early morning of the second day, trying to forget my inner anxiety through the physical exertion.

Also because I had no qualms about playing by myself at that time, I would often run around the country with a few friends carrying my bike on my back, got to know more seniors in the circle, and participated in a lot of national competitions. It was the fastest time for me to grow my skills, and it was a special joy to start from the bottom of the pack and end up with a championship. But even with such passion, I still didn’t want to take it as my future career. I was afraid that I would hate it after turning my hobby into a career, and it was a painful transition from spontaneous to forced, and to put it more vulgarly, I didn’t have 100% confidence in myself, and I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to earn any money by relying on the hobby. This fear gradually became a burden for me, and every day when I opened my eyes, I started to worry about what I would do in the future. But I’m grateful that I have this hobby, at least it keeps me from becoming a social asshole.

Of course, I asked many of my former classmates about their plans for the future, but I got the same answer: maybe I’ll go to work in some organization. So the whole 2020, I have been outside the social mixing, also went to do a number of jobs, have done supermarket logistics, also into the Western restaurant, through these to experience, to see if working is really a particularly good life. However, during the working period, every day I was very tired and tormented, standing and working for eight or nine hours a day, only one day of rest a week, and living a life that could not be seen to the end, and the wages I got in the end were not even enough to support myself.

That year’s experience really changed me a lot, I don’t want to be like those people, working from nine to five to support the family, by the mortgage, car loan pressure dead, don’t want their future is so boring. In contrast, learning can be too happy. After thinking about this, I returned to Curionesty College again this year, hoping that through my own efforts, I can change my friends around me, no longer narrow-minded, and not just because I don’t want to study and go to work.

Maybe by the time I turn 18, I will be forced by life and financial pressure to do those jobs and things I hate to do, but I hope I will always have the drive and courage to pursue my hobbies. At the same time, I will be able to let go of the fear of the future, no longer choose to run away, but to turn around and embrace it openly. Thank you all!

附：邬懿珅妈妈的成人礼寄语

Dear Yi:

In the blink of an eye, you have grown into an adult. In our eyes, you are a thoughtful, individualistic child who is becoming more and more understanding and is slowly transforming into an adult.

Adults, to have responsibility and value. Responsibility, is the most important sign of adulthood, is to have to bear in life, learning. When you have the ability to choose and act independently, you also have the corresponding responsibilities and obligations. Only those who know how to be responsible and can be responsible can become a truly respected person.

Value, every life in the world, have irreplaceable meaning and mission, everyone has their own value. Whether in school, at home or in society, I hope that you can give of yourself, dedicate yourself and do good deeds. A person with values lives a happy and fulfilling life.

Son, in your future growth path, we are still your strong spiritual support. No matter where you go, no matter you succeed or fail, happy or sad, we will always love, support and trust you.

Cheers for your today and blessings for your future.

–Love you forever, mom and dad.

–Bat Mitzvah Message from Mrs. Yishen Wu

Writing：Wu Yishen&Wu Yishen’s mom

Editing & Typesetting: Gege

Photo：Bottle

Good morning, teachers, students, and parents!

First of all, I would like to thank Ms. Chi Xiao for inviting me to participate in Curionesty College’s 2021 Bar Mitzvah Ceremony and to give a speech. Then, I would like to express my best wishes to the main protagonists of today’s Bar Mitzvah: students Wu Yishen, Wu Han, and Zhang Kexin.

With regard to the Bar Mitzvah, people always think and discuss what it really means to a person or what it really means in life.

In many countries, the age of 18 is taken as the age mark of adulthood, and since then one can enjoy the political rights that adult citizens have, such as the right to vote and the right to be elected. In democratic elections in democratic countries, 18-year-old citizens who get the right to vote for the first time are called “first voters”.

In this sense, adulthood means the autonomy and independence of a person, who is free from the guardianship of his elders to choose and control his own social behavior and way of life. A similar behavior can be seen in many animals, where young individuals are pushed out of their original family circle once they reach adulthood, leaving them to fend for themselves.

Of course, Curionesty College has no problem choosing 17 as the age point for adulthood. For in reality, human adulthood is a process, not simply a point in time. The law’s provisions are simply there for convenience. Generally speaking, roughly from the age of 16 to 18 is the main time period when a minor gradually transitions to adulthood.

If we take whether a person has his or her own independent value judgment and ideology, and whether he or she is able to decide independently on his or her own course of action as a sign of adulthood, then the difference may be great for people in different social environments and for people with different personalities. This standard may be even higher if it is measured against the words “independent spirit, free mind”, which Mr. CHEN Yinke inscribed for Mr. WANG Guowei.

Perhaps, some people have become adults before the legal age, which may or may not be related to those sports stars, music stars, literary stars and so on who become famous at a young age; in addition, perhaps some people are not yet adults even after the legal age, or even throughout their lives. Therefore, being older does not mean that one can be qualified to give so-called guidance to young people, and this is also the reason why I am addressing this Council today, and at the same time, I am also apprehensive about it.

As I held the 17th Bar Mitzvah Ceremony for three of my classmates today, I also thought about when I was 17 or 18 years old. When I was seventeen or eighteen, I was in junior high school in Chongqing during the Cultural Revolution. Because of the Cultural Revolution, after graduating from elementary school in 1966, I was suspended for about three years, and it was only in 1969 that all schools resumed teaching, so I entered junior high school at the age of 14 or 15. When I graduated from junior high school at the age of eighteen, I went to the countryside as a Young Knowledge Worker and settled down in the rural area of Tongjiang County in the Daba Mountains in northern Sichuan. Being settled in the countryside alone, I was basically independent in my life. Although unlike local farmers, the intellectual youths were given a monthly food ration of 30 pounds to buy, but that was not enough, they had to participate in labor to earn work credits, and in addition, they had to grow their own vegetables, cut their own firewood in the mountains, and burn their own firewood for cooking.

But it was not considered independent in thought, because the education we received from childhood was monolithic ideology. We also learned English in junior high school, but the only phrase we remember now is “Long live Chairman Mao! In school, every morning study hall was filled with Mao’s writings, and we read Mao’s “Old Three Stories” over and over again: “Serving the People,” “The Fool’s Duke Moves the Mountain,” and “In Memory of Baekchun. Not only the political class, but also the language class was basically filled with political and ideological education, the main theme of which was to bear in mind the hatred of the class and the nation, and to be loyal to the leader and to the party, and so on.

At that time, the only bookstore was the Xinhua Bookstore, and the number of books available in the bookstore, as well as the number of books that could be read, were very, very limited. Apart from the writings of the leaders, there were only a few types of other books that were used in conjunction with the political propaganda. The single source of information and propaganda indoctrination created a solidified way of thinking and conceptual model for several generations, including me.

After the Cultural Revolution, the reform and opening-up period of the 1980s can be considered the most important period of ideological liberation and renaissance in China’s modern history, during which I had the opportunity to come into contact with all kinds of information from the outside world, and was able to have a preliminary cognition of human thought and cultural deposits. During that period, when I was in my thirties, I had just stepped into adulthood in terms of thoughts and ideas.

So, today, forty years after the reform and opening up, in the age of information and network, when people can receive a wider variety of information, and when there is an educational system that seems to be more systematic and complete, is it true that the kind of confusion and perplexity that characterized people’s thinking several decades ago has been completely eliminated? Of course not. That’s why there are explorations of education and human development like Curionesty College.

China’s ideological liberation and renaissance in the 1980s didn’t really last, and the confinement of thought, culture, and education wasn’t completely broken. But in an age of information explosion and networks, it is no longer possible to return to the completely closed situation of the past. That’s why the Curionesty College undertakes courageous and unique explorations, and that’s why students have the opportunity and good fortune to discover themselves and realize themselves in the Curionesty College.

One of the dimensions of independence and autonomy that is a hallmark of human adulthood is the self-discovery and full development of the human being as a special personality. Just as there is no grain of sand in the world that is exactly the same, there is no person in the world that is exactly the same; each person’s nature, purpose, preferences, and talents are all different, but all are valuable. If one can keep overcoming obstacles and difficulties, and keep discovering oneself, exploring oneself, and realizing oneself in freedom and happiness, then one is a true adult and a success.

I learned through Ms. Chi Xiao that the three students receiving their Bar Mitzvahs today all have their own favorite things to do.

Wu Yishen is good at all kinds of sports, especially mountain biking, which is his strong point. I loved playing soccer when I was in elementary school, and from elementary school, middle school to university, I was the main player of the class team or the school team, but I didn’t have the chance to realize a bigger dream of playing soccer. I envy Wu Yishen’s current sports environment and conditions, and wish him the best in his sports endeavors;

Wu Han is a master of cartooning. I also loved drawing when I was a child, and was called one of the two best drawers by my art teacher at the school with thousands of students where I attended junior high school. Entering an art academy to specialize in art was also one of my unfulfilled aspirations, but the skill of drawing helped me a lot in geological sketching at work. I also envy Wu Han for being able to freely utilize his drawing talents and wish him a more brilliant career;

Zhang Kexin has a talent for music and art. She not only plays the guitar, but also composes her own lyrics and music, and even writes and performs plays. Unfortunately, I have not been able to learn a single musical instrument so far, and I don’t know if I will have the chance to do so in the future, so I also envy Ms. Zhang Ke Xin very much. Of course, I also wish Zhang Kexin will fully develop her talent and give herself and everyone else a bigger surprise in the future.

Another thing that comes to my mind is that adulthood is not about saying goodbye to the underage past, and adulthood is not about becoming “old-fashioned”. The most valuable trait of a human being is the childlike heart that is full of curiosity and exploration of things in the world. The most valuable trait of a human being is a childlike spirit of curiosity and exploration of the world, and even more valuable is to be able to maintain this curiosity and exploration throughout one’s life, which is probably why the Curionesty College was named “Curionesty” in the first place.

In closing, I would like to thank the teachers, students, and parents for attending this Bar Mitzvah ceremony, and once again, I would like to extend my blessings to the three students receiving their Bar Mitzvahs.

Thank you all!

November 11, 2021

Writing: Fan Xiao

Photo: Bottle & Doodle

Editing & Layout: Gege

Teachers, parents, students:

Good morning! I am now speaking on behalf of myself and Chien-Wei Lee’s mom.

Thank you to Curionesty College for organizing such a ceremony to commemorate and inspire our children’s growth. Today’s ceremony signifies that our children have grown up, and we are pleased about that.

Raising children requires a great deal of effort from parents, as well as from various parties such as the school and the community. The teachers at Curious have been putting in a lot of energy, effort and dedication in the last few years, for which we are very grateful!

As parents, we have witnessed and experienced a lot during the four years that our children have been attending Curionesty College. What I appreciate most about Curiosity is its spirit of defying hardships and being good at making changes. Curiosity moves forward through ups and downs, and our children grow through experience. Over the past few years, our Qianwei has changed from a timid and crying little girl to a brave, strong, hardworking, opinionated and understanding big girl. I think that in the important stage of life of adolescence, encountering such an environment and a group of young and progressive teachers, the child’s gains are enormous. When the child talked to us, she also expressed her gratitude for coming to Curious and the impact it has brought to her. We noticed that the child always said that she wanted to talk to Ji Xiao first when she had a big problem. During the teachers’ home visit, we also saw that she had posted a final letter from Ms. Zhang Xu on the wall of her room. The word she used most often when talking about each of her curious teachers was “good”. We have a deep sense that children are loved and supported here. It is clear that when a child feels loved, it is also when she is determined to love and learn how to love. We believe that she has realized something about the relationship between individual life and the world.

In fact, human growth is a lifelong learning process in which there is no specific point in time to mark the completion of the process. Confucius said, “When we learn the Way, we can die at the end of the day”. That means that we are in the process of growth until the end of our lives, and it is never too late. From this perspective, today’s ceremony is just a symbol that reminds us not to forget the growth of life. As the seventeen year old stands, we see all of her past. It is not a stand-alone moment, but an accumulation of all the times in the past. From this perspective, today’s ceremony also reminds us that every moment of life is equally important, that yesterday made today, and today influences tomorrow, so that how life will be in the future really depends on the choices we make and the actions we take in the present.

As growing beings, we don’t dare to say that we have much to teach our children, but we just share some of our own insights with you and look forward to hearing from you more often. Chien-Wei, in the process of raising you, we often feel how blessed we are to raise a child, and how happy we are to accompany the growth of a life. You have truly made us want to raise many, many children. From your experiences over the past seventeen years, you are fully capable of pursuing your own life and living it to the fullest. You are free to just go and fly! As parents, our only charge is this: remember, whether you are seventeen or seventy, you will always be our most loving daughter. No matter how far you go, we are at your back. Wherever you go, our hearts are there.